Leadership
The Employee You Do Not Know Is Struggling
She is on time, prepared, and unfailingly composed. That composure took everything she had, and it will not appear in any engagement survey.
For a long stretch of my career, I was the most reliable person on my team while my personal life was in genuine crisis. Nobody knew. Not because my colleagues were inattentive, but because I was extremely good at making sure they would not find out.
01
Why competence is a hiding place
Work was the one arena where the rules still applied and effort still produced outcomes. Performing well was not deception. It was oxygen. This is why high performance is such an unreliable indicator of wellbeing.
02
What a manager can actually do
- Say out loud, more than once, what flexibility exists before anyone needs it.
- Ask about the work specifically rather than about feelings generally.
- Notice pattern changes without interrogating them.
- Make the first move on honesty, at whatever level is safe for you.
You are not responsible for solving your employee's private life. You are responsible for making sure that when they are ready to say something, saying it does not cost them their standing.
People do not tell you what is happening. They tell you whether it is safe to tell you.
About Stephanie
Stephanie J. Bond
CPA, keynote speaker, survivor-leader, and advocate. She writes here between engagements about resilience, financial recovery, leadership, and faith.
Learn About StephanieThis idea, on stage
From Surviving to Leading
Resilience, identity, and the leadership that grows out of rebuilding.
Explore the KeynoteContinue the Journey
